Six years ago Nick Cole attempted suicide by driving his ute into a power pole following a secret battle with depression.
Now the South Colac footballer wants to use his experience to help educate others not to go through the same battle alone.
The 27-year-old opened up to the Colac Herald, detailing the extent of his struggles which began in his late teens.
Cole said he had regular feelings of “no ambition, no happiness, you aren’t interested in anything or care to even get out of bed”.
“You are sort of a walking ghost going through the motions of life,” he said.
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Where To Buy“Don’t get me wrong, depressed people can have good days, they can laugh and smile and take jokes and have good moments.
“But the majority of the time when life isn’t extremely good the numbness is the main emotion.
“There is also a lot of guilt in depression. You always feel you do everything wrong, you think people would be better off without you, and you think everything is your fault.
“But then there are the physical effects – constantly being tired but not being able to sleep, just lying in bed wide awake alone with your thoughts all night, along with feeling physically ill for no reason.”
For years Cole’s battle went undiagnosed, because he didn’t have the knowledge to know that something was wrong.
The pain continued to build until a night out in Geelong on November 26, 2010, which led him to try to take his own life.
While driving home, Cole deliberately veered off the road into a power pole, snapping it in half and sending his ute into a barrel role, throwing him into the passenger seat.
“I remember waking up lying on what was the roof of the car and just lying back down again and closing my eyes before realising that the car was on fire,” Cole said.
“Once I realised the vehicle was on fire I just remember being trapped inside and trying to pull myself out,” he said.
“I honestly have no idea how I survived. I am extremely lucky and very thankful that I am still here today.”
While Cole remarkably survived the crash with only a few cuts, scratches to his head and face and bruised ribs from the seat beat, it was during his five-day stay in hospital that a psychiatrist finally diagnosed him with depression.
Six years have passed since his diagnosis and, while he thinks depression is something that’s going to be with him forever, “it’s something that’s a lot more manageable for me now”.
“I found out what worked for me and went from there,” Cole said.
“There’s a lot of trial and error in it, different things work for different people,” he said.
“So just finding out what works for you is a massive step in the right direction.
“Anyone can improve their mental health as effectively as we can better our physical fitness.
“The key is making the conscious decision to do it.
“We can often put it off, or prioritise other things, but the time is now.”
Cole said more knowledge about depression could have saved him from years of suffering alone.
He encouraged people to visit www.blackdoginstitute.org.au to learn about mental health, to either help themselves or the people around them who might be struggling.
The South Colac grand final footballer is organising a mental health match for the Roos in the 2017 season to help educate the community.
Good on him for speaking up about it. With him being a footballer, it may help others within the league to speak up. There is not shame in depression or any other mental or physical illness.
Well done Nick. ?